The
Best Man
If you
have been asked to be the Best Man or you are the groom choosing
the Best Man you may wonder what is involved in this important role.
What are the responsibilities of the Best Man and what about the
dreaded Best Man speech? We aim to answer all of your Best Man questions
on this page.
Traditionally
the role of the Best Man is usually offered to the Groom's closest
adult relative (possibly his brother) or a close friend.
It is not a role to be accepted lightly as the Best Man will be
one of the main figures in the preparation of the wedding and on
the wedding day itself. The Best Man's tasks are varied but the
role can be summed up as one of a supporter and organiser.
Before
The Wedding
The
Bridegroom should establish the level of input required from the
Best Man. Some Grooms will require as much help as possible, others
will be happy for Best Man to have a minimum amout of input during
the wedding planning period and require his help and support on
the wedding day alone.
Listed
below are the traditional responsibilities of a Best Man:
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To
be involved in the discussions and decisions of the planning
stage of the wedding. |
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To
help the groom choose the ushers
(usually picked from both the bride and groom's families and
friends). Ensure the ushers are aware of their responsibilities
(see below), attend fittings of suits and ensure the ushers
are available to attend the rehearsal (if required). |
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Together
with the groom, decide on the outfits for both yourselves, and
the ushers (if the outfits are hired the cost is traditionally
the responsibility of the groom). |
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Prepare
your Bext Man's speech (see The Best Man's Speech below). |
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Arrange
the stag
night or stag weekend if the groom is having one. It is
probably wise to arrange this to happen at least a few days
before the wedding to give everyone a chance to recover! |
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Attend the wedding rehearsals and check car-parking facilities
at the wedding venue and reception venue. If there are elderly
or disabled guests pay particular attention to access for them. |
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Collect
the outfits if the bridegroom is unable to. Be sure to check
that the outfits are complete! |
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Be
aware of where the groom's and your buttonholes will be on the
wedding day. |
On the wedding day - Before the ceremony
The
Best Man's role on the wedding day will depend on the level of input
required by the groom, but it can be a role of great importance.
The calming support of the Best Man can be of great importance to
a nervous groom. The duties of the best man on the wedding day will
include:
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To
meet with the groom a couple of hours before you need to leave
for the ceremony venue. |
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Ensure
the groom he looks his best. |
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Check
the groom has everything he will need for the honeymoon.
Travel tickets, passports etc. Ensure that the location of the
honeymoon
luggage is known and that it is stored stored safely. |
| · |
Make
sure you have the ring(s) and the money for the church fees
and any other fees that may arise on the wedding day. If the
bride and groom are having a civil wedding the fees will have
probably been paid beforehand in advance. |
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Drive
the groom to the wedding ceremony venue making sure you arrive
in plenty of time. Allow for delays due to traffic. Try not
to be late, that's the Bride's job! It may be polite to telephone
the bride's father telling him that you are leaving.
|
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Upon
arriving at the ceremony venue, take control of the buttonholes
if necessary and ensure the orders of service sheets have
been brought to the venue for handing out to the guests as
they arrive. |
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If
the ceremony is in a church, you may need to: |
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· |
Pay
the church fees, on behalf of the groom. |
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· |
Take
your seat with the groom on the front right-hand pew and wait
for the bride to arrive. Shortly before the bride arrives, you
will be prompted by the vicar, or person in charge of the ceremony,
to stand in position at the head of the aisle, standing to the
groom's right. |
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· |
At
the required moment, when prompted, hand over the ring(s). |
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If
you are asked to sign the register, accompany the chief bridesmaid
(or matron of honour or whomever is signing the wedding register
with you) to the signing of the register. You may also be asked
by the groom to sign the register as a witness. |
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· |
Join
the recession down the aisle. Follow in line after the bride
and groom, the bride's father and groom's mother and the groom's
father and the bride's mother. You may escort the chief bridesmaid
on your left arm if appropriate. |
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|
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If
the ceremony is at a register office or other licensed venue
such as a hotel or castle you may need to: |
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· |
Take
your seat with the groom on the front right-hand seats (as with
a church wedding) while waiting for the bride to enter the marriage
room. Shortly before the bride enters, you will be prompted
to stand in position before the registrar (standing to the groom's
right). |
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· |
Hand
over the ring(s) at the required moment. |
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IF
asked by the groom, sign the register as a witness. |
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· |
Join
the recession out of the marriage room, following in-line after
the bride and groom, the bride's father with the groom's mother
and the groom's father with the bride's mother. If there is
a chief bridesmaid, you may escort her on your left arm (as
with a church wedding). |
On
the day - After the ceremony and during the reception
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If
required, assist the wedding photographer to group guests
for photographs. The photographer is unlikely to know who
everyone is and which side of the family they are from.
|
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If
the reception is to be held at a seperate venue from the wedding
ceremony, make sure that all the guests have directions to the
reception venue. Help in arranging lifts to the wedding reception
venue if necessary. |
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Make
sure that you leave for the reception venue with the bridesmaids
immediately after the bride and groom. This should enable you
to arrive at the wedding reception before the rest of the guests. |
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Upon
arrival at the reception venue, your duties may include: |
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· |
Collect
greetings messages from the bride's father and check to see
if any messages have been delivered direct to the wedding reception
venue. |
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· |
Join
the receiving line to greet and welcome the guests as they move
into the wedding reception room. |
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When
the meal is finished, and at an appropriate time, introduce
the speeches. Invite the bride's father to speak first. |
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· |
After
the bride's father has delivered his speech and toasted the
bride and groom, ask the groom to say a few words. |
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· |
The
groom's speech will usually end with a toast to the bridesmaids.
You will probably reply to this toast on behalf of the bridesmaids
and then deliver your speech. Read the congratulatory messages
and apologies from absent family and friends. Close by toasting
the bride and groom. |
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· |
Aannounce
the traditional cutting of the cake ceremony once the speeches
have finished. |
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If
appropriate, join the bride and groom mid way through the first
dance. You will usually partner the chief bridesmaid. |
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· |
During
the weding reception keep a general eye on the proceedings to
ensure that everything is running smoothly. More and more wedding
weddings provide wedding cameras that will have been put out
on the guests' tables. Try to ensure they are used throughout
the reception by the guests. |
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Supervise
the decoration of the groom's car if necessary. |
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At
the end of the wedding reception assist in bringing the celebrations
to a close. Making sure everyone has transport home or can find
their room if they are staying overnight at the reception venue
for instance. |
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If
wedding cameras were distributed at the wedding reception, ensure
they are collected and arrange for them to be sent for developing. |
After
the wedding
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As
soon as possible after the wedding you should arrange to collect
any outfits that were hired so that they can be returned and
deposits collected as the bridegroom is likely to be away on
honeymoon. |
The Best Man's Speech
See
the Best
Man's Speech page
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